This question and answer article was done by Gizelle River, Virtual Administrator and Writer. Visit her website.

G: Hi Michael. Today’s topic is relationships. In your hundreds of seminars and TeleClasses, what are people saying about their relationships or lack of them? What kind of complaints do you most often hear?

M: I’d like to start by saying that the amount of people on our planet who are single continue to surprise me. Having said that, the thing I hear people saying most often about attracting their ideal mate is that it’s HARD to do. I hear over and over again that there are no ‘good’ men or women left, or that people keep attracting *&#@* kinds of dates!People complain that all the ‘good’ prospects are already taken or that their dating experiences are disastrous. Of course, if they knew what I knew they’d know exactly WHY they are getting the kinds of relationships or dating experiences they are getting. You can hear it in the words they use when they comment! Half-way through my seminars, these people get their “Ahh-Hah!” moment! They learn that NOT getting their ideal relationship or partner has nothing to do with the availability of ‘good’ men or women. They learn that it’s all about the vibes they’ve been sending!

G: What is missing from the traditional match-making and online dating services?

M: These services are mostly concerned with what physical attributes you are most attracted to: tall, dark, handsome, busty, pretty, slender etc. Law of Attraction matches people by their vibrations. An ideal dating service would help people attract their perfect match by helping them to begin within themselves. In other words, whatever vibration a person would want their ideal mate to have, they would begin by creating THAT vibration first within themselves so that Law of Attraction can match it!

G: What can you suggest single folks do to help them attract their ideal partner?

M: Ironically, knowing what you didn’t like about a past partner or a past date is very useful to you. You can use this information to help you get clarity about the kind of mate you do want. For example, if you don’t want someone who works too much-what do you want? If you don’t want someone who is not adventurous-what do you want? If you don’t want someone who is not interested in dancing, or who is not romantic, or not a good listener etc-what do you want?

Understanding what you don’t want will help you ‘birth’ more clarity about what you do want and your ‘birthed’ clarity becomes your new, clear desire! Notice too, how you feel when you get clear about something. It feels good when we say, “Oh! That’s exactly what I’d like!” This new clarity has now become your desire and that is the first step to manifesting your ideal mate. In my book, Law of Attraction, The Science of Attracting More of What you Want and Less of What You Don’t, I talk about the three step process for Deliberate Attraction. The first step is being able to identify your desire. Now you know how to use the contrast to do just that!

G: What’s happening if your desire is not manifesting?

M: The first thing to know is that you’re not truly offering a pure vibration of the way you want it to be then Law of Attraction cannot respond to it. In other words, you are saying that you want THIS kind of person but you are sending out a vibe that is different than your desire. One way to check what vibration you are offering is to observe what you ARE receiving in your life. It’s always a perfect match to whatever you are offering vibrationally.Secondly, most people tend to be scorekeepers and they tend to keep score about what isn’t happening. When you do that, you are of course, giving what isn’t happening more energy, attention and focus!

G: Michael, what can people do to correct that?

M: Every time you catch yourself observing or thinking about what you don’t want, take your attention away from it! The easiest way to do this is to say to yourself, “So what DO I want?” It sounds simple and it is! When you change your observation from what you don’t want to what you do want, the vibration changes. When you change your vibration, the results will change too!

Next, for those of you who are scorekeepers, begin to notice when you are observing the LACK of attracting your ideal mate. Stop scorekeeping what you are NOT attracting and you’ll stop giving it your attention, energy and focus. Your job is to look for the parts of a relationship or the characteristics of a date that ARE matching your desire list and give those your attention! Your vibration will change and Law of Attraction will bring you more of the same!

G: What should people do when they just get home from a disastrous date?

M: Don’t tell anyone! Don’t email your friends about it! Don’t talk about it with your girlfriends! Don’t write about it in your journal. Remember that Law of Attraction doesn’t know if you are remembering something or complaining about it, or worrying about it. Law of Attraction will simply bring you more of whatever it is you are focusing on!

So, come home from your date…build a list of all the things that you didn’t like about your dating experience and convert each item of contrast on your list into another thing that you clearly want.

And then, with the converted list (your clarity list) add it to the list of the things that you would like in an ideal date! Now you have a more complete list and THAT’S what you’ll want to give your attention!

If it didn’t feel good on the first date, it usually doesn’t get better, so simply move on to the next date – adding to your list each time. You’ll know when you’ve found your ideal mate by how it feels!

G: Thanks Michael! We’ll look forward to more of your expert answers in next month’s edition of MICHAEL’S MAILBOX.